Pixie Screws

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I found the first glinting in the bottom of my cereal bowl, just as I was pouring the Count Chocula in - the tiny sparkle caught my eye. I thought it was just the sleepy crusties interfering with my vision, but, never one to take chances with what I put in my mouth, I gently pulled the dry cereal bits and their "marshmallow" companions out of the bowl and set them in a line on the table.

And there it was. A shining shard of metal.

It was so small that I could not clamp two fingers around it. Instead, I pressed down and the thing was so light that it caught on my finger as I lifted back up. Squinting, I realized that the minuscule doodad had ridges at one end, and a head with a slit through it. It... was a screw. So excruciatingly tiny that I could have breathed it in without knowing.

Touching it made me giddy with delight.

So I would not lose it, I stuck it in a tiny piece of black clay which sat upon my desk, like a fly immortalized in amber. Throughout the day, I would take the piece of clay down, and turn it in the light, making the screw sparkle. A few times, I could not help myself and I removed the screw from the clay to marvel at it, always returning it to the clay afterward. I felt like a dragon with a tiny treasure.

The next evening, as I poured a bit of salt on my pot roast, another glint. More careful this time, I used my fingernail to pick a tiny screw out of my dinner. It wasn't a perfect mate to the first; it had a wider head but a shorter length. Still, it was unimaginably tiny. I rolled it around on a napkin to get the gravy off, and held it all during my meal, admiring it. Soon, it joined the first in the wad of clay.

I began to find sparkles and glints throughout my house. One wide-headed one was stuck in my toothbrush. One long slender one in my lotion. Two dropped out of a toilet paper roll. I have absolutely no idea how it happened, but I cracked open an egg while making muffins and I found ten inside the albumen. One night I woke uncomfortably, princess and the pea style, when I found one sticking to the back of my leg in my bed. And while taking an exceptionally long bath, I discovered one inside my belly button. They were showing up everywhere.

My little wad of clay no longer seemed a safe place to keep so many tiny treasures, so I bought an inch-high glass flask and dropped them in. I would shake it to listen to the tink-tink sound, and occasionally unstopper the bottle, pour them all out, admire each one, and replace them.

I found more every day.

One night, after finding my hundredth-and-some miniature screw, I had a dream. At least, it had to have been a dream, I mean, because fairies aren't real, and they definitely don't dress up in camouflage and go up to people and say stuff like, "We've been trying to keep you safe from the pixies, dismantling their war machinery and hiding their screws so they can't complete it, and what do you do? Collect them all in one place for them to find again? Good job, dingus!" and kick you in the nose. Right?

Yeah, it was just a dream.

Except, I've been hearing these... sounds. In my walls. Clinks and clanks and tinks. It's cold out, of course, so maybe it's the pipes freezing and settling. Pipes do that, right? Only, I don't really think pipes generally emit high-pitched squeals of maniacal laughter...
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If anyone would like to save my home (and perhaps humanity), you can purchase the flask of pixie screws on my website right here. I will not be held responsible for any tiny visitors.