The Coffee Imp

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Long ago, so the tales spin, to keep the tricks (or, more accurately, curses) of the night-fae-folk at bay, a family would leave a dish of milk or cream outside on the eve of the new moon. The fairies would consider the milk an offering, drink it, and move on, not causing any mischief. Some even believed that the sated fairies would stay nearby and protect the house from intruders of magical ilk (though this belief was more than likely horribly misguided).

One hard-working but not-very-bright forest-dwelling family, after a very long month, belatedly realized that the night of the new moon was upon them.

"Wife," the husband said, "we must leave out a saucer of milk for the fae!"

"Ohhhrrrgh," the wife said delicately, her brow furrowing. "Is that tonight again, already? Well, you've just used the last bit of it in your coffee, my dear."

The man slowly pulled his now-two-thirds-empty cup from his lips and set it reverently down upon the table.

They both stared at it. Their eyes raised to meet, and then crept back to the mug.

Later that night, long after the man and woman were asleep, the fairies came about, expecting their usual offering. Small glints of light flickered about the mug which had been left on the doorstep. At a whiff of the bitter concoction, tiny curses floated through the air, and the fairies zipped off, deprived of their cream, plotting future revenge.

That is, most of the fairies left. A lone flickering light hovered at the rim of the cup, then quietly dipped a bit lower, and lower still. A faint slurp, followed by a slightly less faint "blech!" broke the stillness of the night. Then many more slurps. A hiccup sounded, and then quiet again.

Until what seemed to be the sound of a hundred arrowheads zinging off the sides of nearby trees... and laughter. Maniacal laughter. All throughout the night.

The bad news for the man and his wife was that they had inadvertently created the world's first coffee imp. It would show up at their door at all hours of the day or night, a tiny wooden mug in its hands, raised aloft. Its only vocalization aside from the gooseflesh-inducing laughter was "Cuppa? Cuppa? Cuppa cuppa cuppa?!" which would become louder and louder the longer it was left without coffee.

The good news for the man and his wife was that the other fairies decided the coffee imp was quite punishment enough for the neglected milk duties...